It’s been centuries since the dildo was created. Wood, stone, leather, make-shift candles, latex. You name it. The phallic sex toy has been around since the era of the cavemen and yet we still can’t talk about female masturbation with a straight face. Girls masturbate. It’s a thing. And if we as a growing generation want to stimulate conversations regarding sex, it’s time we address female masturbation.
A lot of women masturbate, more than you probably think. According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, more males masturbate than females. But female masturbation is higher than you probably think – up to 92% of women masturbate. Who would’ve thought? Which brings me to the next question: why aren’t we talking about it?
Masturbation has been proven to have significant positive side effects for the human body. From relieving stress to helping with insomnia, masturbation is a natural phenomena most people experience. The shame surrounding masturbation is, however, not natural but instead artificially created by society. In fact, just referring to the action of females masturbating has been shrouded by silly metaphors such as: flicking the bean, finger painting or diddling. We as a society have embraced the fact that men do, in fact, masturbate, but find a collective resistance to accept the same with women.
The number one cultural space we can see this tense resistance can be found in porn. The adult industry was created and is formed mostly for males. That does not mean there are no exceptions to this rule, but it is not hard to see that the sex industry is in its majority aimed at a male audience. Pornography is used for self stimulation while going down south. We can already see there is a BIG assumption as to which gender we believe is more in touch with their inner selves. Literally.
But do women really masturbate less because it’s a natural inclination, or because they don’t know it’s an option? Female masturbation is not easy in itself. It takes a lot of effort when starting because things down there aren’t as straightforward. Self-stimulation is prevented because there is a lack of self-knowledge. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re most likely to fondle around before going “Aha!” After going through the trudging process of realizing that yes, masturbating is a thing, you have to deconstruct a lot of socially indoctrinated stigma that is accompanied by the action of masturbating. To make it more simple: it’s not that simple.
Women are sexual beings. Period. Masturbation is a topic everyone will stumble upon whether through theory or practice, and it’s time we set the record straight. There is nothing shameful about female masturbation. It does not make a woman less of who she is because she decides to enjoy her own sexuality. It does not make her less of a person if she decides it’s not her thing. Everyone is entitled to their own decisions and it’s none of our place to label it as a disgraceful or immoral act.
You can spread the love, starting with yourself.
